mercurial paroxysm
by ultraviolets
Summary: — fear can lead to the worst kind of regret • for qlfc: round two • albus dumbledore, and the disastrous side effects of protection


Ariana had always been a wayward spark, prone to ignite at any given moment. Of course, Albus knew it wasn't her fault, but he could not help but tread ever so carefully in her presence.

Walking on his toes, holding his breath, he knew there were many that told him she was harmless — _a Squib, that's all. Shameful, but nothing more than that._

But Albus had always been gifted, always been able to see what tended to lurk beneath the surface. And he'd seen inexplicable things, things that had reassured one fact that resonated with him over and over —

Ariana was no Squib.

She was something more, something different, something _dangerous._

But for all his brilliance, Albus had not a clue what that was. So rather than risk it, rather than take chances he knew would end in disaster, he chose instead to be wary.

Aberforth often condemned him for doing so — she was his _sister,_ after all. And there were days when Albus condemned himself, and his mind for thinking such horrid things about a girl who had always been so innocent and demure.

The day he was proved right was bittersweet for that very reason.

Ariana's spark had been lit, and it had not started a fire but an explosion that shook Albus to his very core. At the end of it all, what resulted was their mother's lifeless, cold body, skin a clammy, light grey.

Ariana was inconsolable. Aberforth swore she hadn't meant to, she just didn't understand —

And neither did Albus.

Perhaps that was the most jarring thing of all.

* * *

Albus had not once acknowledged the fact that he was Ariana's sole guardian, afraid to carry the title for he knew he was not nearly worthy of such a responsibility. He knew Aberforth resented him for that fact, but Albus had long ago stopped minding what Aberforth thought, especially at Gellert's constant reminders that _it didn't matter._

"You and I, we're destined for greatness, don't you see? Let him tend to her; we shouldn't concern ourselves with such matters," he'd say, and Albus would nod.

It only made sense, after all.

For Ariana was unpredictable, and Aberforth was unremarkable, but Albus was so much more. And it was only if he lived up to that that he could help them.

It was these very flights of fancy that he allowed himself to get swept up in, ignoring the qualms of his siblings. He had a destiny to fulfill, after all, one that they could wholeheartedly be a part of — but had no business planning.

"For the greater good," Gellert would say. "For them and for us."

Albus would nod fervently to this, and these words were all he would offer to Aberforth when he asked what it was that preoccupied his older brother so.

 _The greater good._ That was what he was working for, what he would achieve.

And when all was said and done, when the final piece was put seamlessly into place, he could finally be what they needed, what they deserved. But that could only happen if he worked hard, for a _better world_ — what he and Gellert were trying to achieve. Everything Gellert told him was proof of this, that by improving the world, he would prove _himself_ to those who mattered most.

* * *

" _No."_ Aberforth's voice was cold and unforgiving, leaving no room for argument.

Of course, that didn't stop Albus. "Can't you see? This will help her. It's all for the greater good — she won't have to hide herself anymore."

Aberforth laughed, a mirthless sound. "The only reason she is _hidden_ is because you treat her — us — like shameful things, like we're not even worth the ground you stand on. So don't tell me it's for the _greater good."_

Albus was dimly aware of Ariana watching their exchange, eyes wide, hands clenching the skirt of her forest green dress in fistfuls so tight her knuckles held a strained whiteness to them.

"She's _dangerous,_ Aberforth. You can treat her like some fragile doll, like some sweet little girl, but have you forgotten what happened — what she did — to Mother?"

Albus spun towards Gellert, searching for some sort of support, some sort of approval.

"We're trying to help," was all he offered, his voice soft, though dangerously so. "We don't want to hurt her. With this, with our plans, she can finally be free."

"What you propose isn't freedom. And she cannot go on like this —" Aberforth was cut off as a beam of red light collided with his chest, sending him stumbling backward.

Albus whirled around to face Gellert, confusion and shock prompting him to reach for his own wand.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Albus, they simply don't understand," Gellert said, shaking his head.

Aberforth had drawn his wand, firing back with a spell of his own. "I understand plenty," he spat, voice scathing.

The next spell came straight for Albus; he did not know who had fired it. It was due to pure instinct and instinct alone that he retaliated with his own jinx, bellowing the incantation and listening to his voice ring out through the open air, mingling with the shouts of Gellert and Aberforth.

He no longer knew who was fighting whom as the world dissolved into nothing but chaos, as Albus narrowly avoided being hit, vision tunneled and blurred. There was blood on the ground at his feet, and it was only when he finally registered the sharp pain that he realized it was coming from him, where someone's hex had left a gash on his arm that oozed crimson.

Breaths labored, Albus tore his gaze away from the wound - and his eyes found Ariana's.

She was shaking violently, face pale. Her hands had torn through the forest green fabric of her skirt, nails having left crescent-shaped cuts in the soft flesh of her palms.

Albus could see it within her — that raging inferno, growing, warming, gaining traction and power.

It was as though he was seeing the past play out before his eyes, as Aberforth's screams transformed into that of their mother, as Ariana's eyes fluttered shut, only to fly open a moment later, burning with a dark sort of vigor.

She was on the breaking point. The cusp.

 _No._

She was going to shatter, and they would all bear the brunt of it.

He couldn't let that happen, not again.

Albus raised his wand once more —

And the flash of light was so bright he could hardly bear to look.

But what he truly couldn't bear to see was the aftermath.

When the light died down, spots fading away, when Albus saw Aberforth collapsed to his knees, Gellert still standing, though only barely —

And Ariana lying on the ground, her face an ashen light grey, her body far too still.

Her eyes were blank, vacant, and if Albus didn't look too closely, it could have been the same stare she nearly always wore — slightly dazed and desolate.

Except even with that look, the fire always burned.

Now, Albus realized, as his next breath caught, it had been doused completely.

Aberforth's hand was trembling as he reached over to close her eyes.

Albus turned away, not wanting to look at the light he had just put out.

* * *

a/n: written for the quidditch league fanfiction competition: round two (word count: 1230)

(write about a 'light' character protecting themselves — albus dumbledore)

optional prompts:

(color) forest green

(color) light grey

(word) proof

thank you to vic for betaing :)


End file.
